Good morning ladies and gents who somehow stumble upon tis blog of mine. Hi Rose, I miss you. Not sexually. Tangy too.
You both are the two people who come in mine whenever I remember to go back to my blog. Anyways I'ma story a little longer than usual today. Usually it's just one very short post and then I'm done because I'm lazy and busy.
I know I haven't checked your blogs, like, at all. Forgive me for being selfish. I'm just going bonkers with real life right now I somehow wish this (LIFE) is a game so I can actually load from somewhere and fix my mistakes.
Anyways, I'm busy with events, skipping classes, not being normal, play games to forget my problems, and other stuff which I can't remember even though I'm trying right now.
Anyways, I'm busy with events, skipping classes, not being normal, play games to forget my problems, and other stuff which I can't remember even though I'm trying right now.
I've skipped classes too much, and just now around the noon I think, the Dean of my faculty herself called me to warn me about the amount of me skipping classes for this semester. I can't fix it anymore so I kinda don't understand why she did that. Because she said she can just bar me from the finals, I sorta wish she doesn't.
There's an event going on tomorrow around 3 pm I think. I can't remember, it's 2 am in the morning and I'm just typing stuff here that happened today hoping that I'll be okay after I hit the "Publish" button. A major part of me is being skeptical and pessimistic though. About the event, it's a Teacher's Day celebration kind of thing filled with performances. I'm usually the emcee but this time I put the job aside so I can help the other two emcees do their jobs well (intonation, pronunciation, etc.)
I'm really hoping right now I don't get barred from the finals. Right now my CGPA is around 2.5, something. If I get barred I'm gonna fail the subjects this short semester and basically... as much as I don't want to think about it, 'cause it has happened before -- get kicked out of the current university. God help me compose myself and get myself together.
This is one of the longest post in the very long while. I honestly don't even think people are going to read this. To summarize my life right now, I have received many, and I do mean, MANY, chances and opportunities to fix myself. But after some time, like after those chances are gone, do I notice that they were in fact, chances to improve my life.
Oh and the best part I even, for the first time, thought about taking my own life. But of course it won't happen. I'm still strong somewhere inside. I just thought about it. Something like what will happen if Idie kill myself? Stuff like that. I've never thought about it before. There's always a first time I guess.
This is one of the longest post in the very long while. I honestly don't even think people are going to read this. To summarize my life right now, I have received many, and I do mean, MANY, chances and opportunities to fix myself. But after some time, like after those chances are gone, do I notice that they were in fact, chances to improve my life.
Oh and the best part I even, for the first time, thought about taking my own life. But of course it won't happen. I'm still strong somewhere inside. I just thought about it. Something like what will happen if I
Final paragraph, I didn't scroll up at all. I just keep typing and typing and really hope this very long post can somehow fix a small percentage of myself. I'm still smiling, still trying to enjoy life, but it's like life is saying "you suck" all way. I thought about going back up and highlighting or bolding the important parts so you people won't waste your time reading this long post. But again, I'm very sorry, really, really sorry for being selfish. I promise to check your blogs (Rose/Tangerine) when I remember AND have the time. It has been awhile.
Still surviving.
Still surviving.
Fizzy.
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